Hey guys, this is Derek Vitalio and a reader writes me, “Derek, when I approach a woman the conversation never lasts too long. I don’t know what to say and I get nervous and can sense the girl is losing interest- so I usually excuse myself after a minute and bailout of the conversation. What is my problem, why can’t I make this work?”

I was once with my friend in an old auditorium and the room had an echo. We made all kinds of funny noises – fart noises, dog barking, sexual moans of glory, sang songs – and in the echo got everything right back to us ten times.

This is how the club is, the club or party is like a large echo chamber- whatever you give to others you will get right back, tenfold.

If I’m doing nothing, standing there by myself, I will get nothing back.

If I’m opening girls very needy, with a needy voice, wanting something, and pre-expecting negative reactions from them, that’s exactly what I will get- uninspired reactions from them.

If I go in very low energy and timid, that’s exactly what I will get back- very low energy responses or none at all (blowouts).

Be a man of pure sexual joy, intent, light however, and you will get exactly that echoed back from the party, the girls that you meet, tenfold.

Shower the party, the club, with flowers, not literal flowers, but the flowers of your smile, the flowers of your childlike happiness, the flowers of your positivity, the flowers of your spontaneity, the flowers of your fearlessness and wildness. If you shower your supernova glory onto others, the glory will come right back and shower onto you.

Allow your waves of joy and positivity and raw enthusiasm and raw sexual desire just overpower any negativity coming from others. Let it echo and infect everyone it touches, like the hands of a healing prophet, bring the healing power of your touch and your hands and your joy to everyone and heal them of their drudgery.

Some women will challenge you, some will tell you to go away, some will kick, some will scream, but all will succumb to a higher masculine force of relentlessness, of persistence, of sticking through their initial wall, not allowing it to affect you, not acknowledging it, and instead showering them with a brilliant supernova of healing positivity and sexual energy.

That is the ultimate aphrodisiac; that when a man so powerful, with so much pure positivity and sexual energy and light approaches her, when his flame will not flinch or flicker for anything or anyone, she cannot help but open herself up to his power and to his glory.

To make your echo glorious, that is the way forward, that is the journey you must take.

    One of guys biggest problems is approach anxiety and I want to share with you a little example to help you out with this.

    Guys hold back approaching women because they are fearful of taking a hit to their ego and self-confidence.

    This guy is cultivating his identity as the rich guy, or the good looking guy, or the guy with the cool routine, or the guy looking for her approval. It’s like driving your ego, your beautifully fragile Mercedes ego up to the girl fearful that she’s going to spit on it and dirty it up.

    Rather the Bacchino man is like the sky, spitting at him is completely pointless and futile.

    He doesn’t hold onto any negativity, he doesn’t acknowledge it. The Bacchino is in such a positive, social state that it’s beyond his conception that any negativity could exist.

    This is not an intellectual exercise or strategy of ignoring negativity, but literally your altered state is so positive you literally do not even feel the negativity. It just flows past you into empty space, like sky.

    If the woman were to spit into the sky, it would only come back into her own face. The sky cannot be dirtied by her spit.

    Her tests or resistance are not meaningful unless you accept them. Unless you grab them, it is meaningless, noise, they have nothing to do with your reality.

    It is like shouting insults in an empty room. Yes, she will create a sound, but when the sound waves have dissipated the room is again the same room. The room cannot hold onto the test or negativity, the empty room is just an empty room.

    So in fact you cannot get blown out by words unless you take them, unless you cooperate with them. If you FEEL blown out, it is your responsibility, don’t blame the girl. Why did you accept it?

    Accept only that which you need, accept only nourishment, accept only the positive energy coming back from her.

    After all, why accept her poison? Somebody brings you a cup of poison to you, it’s not necessary that you drink it. Simply say “thank you” and radiate her more positivity and keep going.

    Coming in with the right state the woman cannot blow you out of the set; if she tries and you remain unaffected like the sky, she’ll quickly give up. In fact, at a certain point she will “flip sides” and become intensely attracted to you because you didn’t sulk away like every other guy would.

    She will say “no”, “no”, “no”, “no”, “YES” because one can only spit into the empty sky so many times before realizing it is pointless and silly, there is no reason to fight the sky. There is no reason to fight you.

    Hope this was helpful for you and you can apply it tonight.

    Hey guys, this is Derek Vitalio from Bacchanali.com A reader writes me, “I’ve told my friends about you and your website Bacchanali, but none of them seem to be interested in meeting women or developing their social skills. How do I convince my friends to come out with me?”

    A primary reason most guys never develop their natural abilities to be sociable, fun, and successful in clubs and parties and living out the Bacchanali of life is because of the negative social pressure from their friends and families.

    A man who starts becoming successful is often not loved by his old friends because he creates a comparison with them.

    Your budding success creates a thorn in their minds; if you’re so successful with women, then why aren’t they? Seeing you with a pretty girl or watching you approach pretty girls, or even talking about personal transformation creates a wound in your old friend’s ego. Your success only reveals his failure. Your very presence hurts him.

    So you’ll find many of your old friends not interested and not encouraging in your journey and transformation.

    They may tell you that success is just a myth, that it’s not possible and never existed; that your dreams are just fantasies.

    They discourage you because once there is no longer comparison, they can rest and continue being mediocre. Then they can remain as they are without any transformation.

    But when a man like yourself walks with a new flame, with a new glow, with a new shining energy of a sun, with such glory, your friends will feel deeply hurt and left behind.

    So most guys starting out at this, in an effort to keep the acceptance of their old peer group, many guys don’t dedicate the time and dedication needed to transform themselves into sexworthy men with women.

    They dabble in Natural game, they tell their friends what they’re doing and get negative feedback and discouragement, and so they quit before they even really got started.

    Here’s my recommendation: don’t try to do any convincing of your friends.

    Most of your friends will NOT be interested in what you learn from me or this website. They are NOT going to share your enthusiasm. Your enthusiasm and transformation will only make them feel hurt and uncomfortable.

    But that’s fine. Let it be. Let them walk their own path. You walk yours. They have their own destinies. And when they reach the level of your consciousness they will become their own seekers and find social success in their own time.

    Trust that you can walk the path alone by yourself for a time; and in the process, maybe you’ll meet some new friends who share your enthusiasm for transformation.

    I got a letter here asking me, “Derek, sometimes I think this would be so much easier if I was just better looking. I’m thinking of joining a gym and also focusing on my career for now. What do you think?”

    Well, I bet you wish you were extremely good looking with the perfect pecs, big bicep guns, and flowing hair. How much easier would it be to meet and win over hot girls?

    Or perhaps extremely rich—if you drove a Mercedes convertible and lived in a big mansion on a hill with a private pool - imagine that.

    Actually though, being good looking and rich is a curse, yes a curse, when it comes to getting good with women.

    Here’s why- if you’re really good looking or rich you never start the journey.

    Good looking guys often have girls here and there fall into their laps. Same with rich guys.

    There are women who are out looking for good looking guys and women looking for guys with a lot of money. These guys have it easier than your typical guy off the street.

    But the thing is, the women that good looking and rich guys actually get are typically NOT the women of their own choosing.

    Instead, women here and there tend to fall into their lap by chance, and because they are meeting some women, they have no real incentive to learn Natural game.

    You know the kind of advanced skillset that allows you to go into a nightclub, get a dozen phone numbers and make-out with the hottest woman in the club of YOUR choosing.

    Rich and good looking guys, because they get some success from doing nothing, they’re nowhere near as successful as they could be, are nevertheless comfortable enough not to feel the raw drive to get really good at meeting the actual women of their choosing.

    They’re not in hell, but they’re stuck in a comfortable purgatory.

    So they never actually learn real game. Maybe they wish for more, wish for more choice, wish for more options, but they’re too comfortable where they are with the occasional woman that falls into their lap to really apply themselves to achieve real choice with women.

    That’s why you can’t find too many rich or good looking guys out there who are really sharp with women in different social situations. They almost all have serious holes in their game when it comes down to it, trying to compensate by bragging or with their looks, comfortable just dragging along being mediocre.

    They are just comfortable enough so that they never have the real drive or incentive to go after the real prizes.

    It is the same situation with extremely beautiful women- often their world experience and social skills are a little dull because they get everything they want without having to apply themselves or grow beyond childhood. It can actually be a curse for a beautiful woman because she lacks the drive to develop her true potential as a human being.

    So I say stop trying to clasp and cling to security in having looks or money. Besides taking up all of your time away from actually meeting women, if you were to achieve those goals you would only lose your edge and drag along comfortably but dully, rather than excelling.

    A woman not of your real choosing, a woman after money and looks may fall into your lap, but you will not land your dream girls or be shaping your own destiny if you chase looks or money.

    Instead, live insecurely so that you have the drive to develop your Natural game, so that you’re not relying on looks or money to slide you by, but so that you have the raw drive and hunger to work a club or bar and learn to pull the hottest girl out and collect 10 phone numbers any night it suits your fancy.

    Look, in the bigger picture of things you can make insecurity your biggest friend. While good looks and money will be your worst enemy.

    That doesn’t mean not to work out, not to exercise, to grow fat and hairy, I’m not saying that. You want to stay in shape and be healthy for you, but for you alone, not to impress girls.

    I’m not saying to become completely broke either. You want to earn some money to do the things you enjoy, to eat healthy, to get a good night’s sleep, but don’t strive to make money just to impress women. It will make you lazy with women, not better.

    So count your lack of looks or empty pockets as a true blessing, count them as your opportunity to become brilliant at this.

    The Motorcycle Diaries. My #1 favorite movie of all time.  True story of the young Ernesto “Che” Guevara and his friend who make their journey across South America with only their feet and a motorcycle.  You begin to see hints of his transformation from medical doctor to revolutionary.  A real man’s movie. Mandatory viewing for all guys.

    Braveheart. After the murder of his wife by the English, Braveheart takes matters into his own hands and incites revolution for a better world for his people.  Great movie, really inspiring.  I don’t need to tell you to watch this movie as just about every guy already has.  However, you will want to order the audio soundtrack- the movie has a fantastic soundtrack that’s been recycled in many movies since.

    Disney’s Beauty and the Beast. I don’t like the poster art, so I used this hot pic instead.  Better isn’t it?  A story of transformative love, based much on Joseph Campbell’s classic work The Hero’s Journey.  This movie had a big influence on me when I was younger, inspiring me to learn to draw and storyboard, which I spent a few years doing.  The Little Mermaid, Hercules, and Tarzan also get Honorable mentions - a true golden age of classic animation and storytelling.

    The Matrix. Humanity is enslaved to its lack of consciousness and social conditioning– also serves as a Marxist allegory that we’re in a rat race where nothing is in our control.  It’s not enough to watch this movie.  This is a call to Free Yourself, and humankind.

    V for Vendetta. Just in case the Wachowski brothers didn’t get the Marxist/anarchist “question all your beliefs” message through with Matrix, they hit you over the head with a sledgehammer about revolution in V for Vendetta.

    Star Wars, the original trilogy- “A New Hope” was the first movie I ever “saw” as a newborn baby and throughout my childhood I was Star Wars obsessed.  This is a fight and revolution against fascism against all odds - and the temptation to turn to evil, sloth, and apathy in all of us.

    Happy Feet. On the surface, this just looks like a movie about dancing penguins.  I was at IMAX without a ticket and “Happy Feet” was the only thing playing.  I don’t like computer animated movies much to begin with, so I was convinced it would be the worst movie I’d ever seen.   Actually, it turned out to be one of my favorite movies of all time.  Happy Feet goes on an epic journey and its metaphorical for the journey from boyhood into manhood.  Give this one a chance, you’ll thank me.

    That’s my list for now– if I think of anymore I’ll add them!

    Found some interesting sex games you can do with your woman to spice things up here .

    Hi boys and girls welcome to Bacchanali.com, my name is Derek Vitalio and today I want to talk about how being in the party or nightclub is much like swimming.

    Imagine you have never learned to swim and you jump into a deep swimming pool. The first thought that crosses your mind is that you’ll drown.

    So what is the best course of action to take then once you’ve jump in the water?

    If you feel fear and panic and start thrashing around, you’ll sink to the bottom and drown.

    If you freak out and start screaming you’ll only gulp down water and drown.

    If you go inside your head and start planning out which strokes you’ll try, it will be too late and you’ll drown.

    But if you just relax and trust the water, you’ll float.

    There’s little difference between a swimmer and a non-swimmer. The swimmer has learned to trust the pool’s water, while the non-swimmer has not.

    The canned “techniques” or “routines” of swimming - the basic strokes - can be taught in an hour or two. That’s not what’s important though.

    It’s that sense of fear and distrust of the water that is more difficult to let go of.

    The non-swimmer feels fear, a panic that the pool is going to drown him. So of course the pool drowns him. His mind has created his own destiny.

    The swimmer’s basic treading routine may be only slightly different from the non-swimmer’s panicked thrashing to stay afloat, but because the swimmer trusts the water and doesn’t fear it, he stays afloat.

    It’s much the same in the party or nightclub. Your techniques and routines are not as important as simply trusting yourself and having 100% belief that you will not drown, that you will be okay if you just relax and trust yourself float.

    But if doubt arises and you go inside your head and think, “How is this possible, why is this interaction going so well, what do I say next?” immediately you will start drowning.

    If you go inside your head and start planning out what to say, or start second-guessing yourself, you will start drowning.

    So just like the swimmer who trusts the water, trust and having 100% belief in yourself is what’s most important in a party or club. Once you let go of the distrust, the panic, and the fear, you’ll see how easy it is to have great interactions with women.

    And only once that foundation is set, do you want to start adding the advanced breast and butterfly strokes.