If you want to be successful with women, I mean really successful, you have to leave your parents.

    I don’t mean this literally. If you’re still living with your parents, it’s fine.

    What I mean however is you need to leave them behind on a different level.

    At first, you began your life in your Mother’s womb, completely protected with all of your needs met. Your air, your food, your comfort were all taken care of. You had no worries or desires and you were never hungry. You were absolutely protected and secure.

    In a strange sense, in the womb you lived in a sort of paradise. It is like living next to a wishing well where anything you want is automatically granted, even before you thought of asking it.

    But because you lived in total and complete comfort, you couldn’t grow, you couldn’t evolve as a person.

    Only once you popped out of the womb and were exposed to the elements and experience breathing, hunger, pain, cold, heat, insecurity, could you begin the growing process.

    Your first phase of growth, being a newborn infant, required a degree of separation from your mother. You had to make the effort on your own.

    Still, as an infant, you were largely dependent on your mother for your basic needs. But with time, you as a child grew farther and farther away from your parents.

    One day you went away to school on your own and you were independent from her for many hours at a time.

    I vaguely remember my first day in nursery school- my Mother was saying goodbye and I was screaming bloody murder. Once she left I was too afraid of the teacher to ask to use the bathroom and I peed on the floor! I was a bad little 4 year old.

    But through the insecurity and discomfort you learn to handle it until it becomes normal and being separated is no big deal.

    Pretty soon you become attracted to your first girl your own age and suddenly your mother is no longer the central woman in your life.

    That’s the way it has to be; you must cut yourself away from the security of your parents and not be overly dependent on them.

    You must become insecure, free yourself from parent dependency, to grow into becoming a man.

    You need to stand independently on your own two feet.

    Otherwise you cannot grow to become the kind of man that women are looking for.

    In the same way, with meeting women you need to leave the womb of your home, and go out and be okay with feeling insecurity and the unknown.

    You need to leave the security behind of wanting to have “the right thing to say” at all times and going purely routine-free and Natural and flubbing it up sometimes.

    And when you feel insecure, when you feel out of your comfort zone, that’s when you see the real growth and become a sex-worthy man.

    After extensively testing dozens of hats, Derek has found that wearing a cute, adorable puppy on top of your head elicits the best attraction reponse from women.  Give it a try it!

    The Bliss Club will be having a Lingerie party at an undisclosed location September 20th, South Florida.

    Has this ever happened to you?

    You have some “grand strategy” of openers, lines, and routines for working the club tonight.

    You get there, but you don’t open the first girl you see.

    Wait, you see a good set… you hesitate for a minute for “the right moment”, but then the girls by random chance walk away. Damn!

    That’s alright… you walk around the room but for some reason now you’re still not opening.

    You begin to panic—this is just not what you planned.

    You begin to feel frustrated with yourself for not opening.

    And because of the frustration you feel even worse—you’re not even “in state” anymore. How are you possibly going to open girls now??

    You had to pay a $10 cover instead of $5- you are frustrated.

    You’re not wearing what you imagine are your best clothes- you are frustrated.

    You didn’t approach the girl like you thought you would– you are frustrated.

    You are no longer in a good state – you are even more frustrated.

    Now even more negative emotions go through your head—damn I fucked up, and I had such big plans for the night, even worse!

    I hate to admit it, but this has happened to ME in the past more than I can count. So I know how it feels.

    Here’s the deal though…

    This frustration, fear, worry, and negative feelings in the club or bar come out because of your attachment.

    Attachment to your “grand plan” or strategy.

    But if you drop your “grand plan” for the night and instead expect nothing, then nothing can frustrate you.

    If you don’t cling to anything, you can’t feel disappointed.

    Your clinging deflates your state because the social dynamics in the club are in constant flux and you cannot cling or hold onto it.

    The situation will be constantly slipping out of your hands, foiling your thought-out plans.

    Expecting outcomes in a club is like trying to hold a waterfall in your arms that is rushing toward some unknown outcome. And you get frustrated and then your internal state fizzles.

    But if you don’t expect anything, if you have no “plans for the night” to hold onto, then nothing can frustrate you.

    Frustration and negative states and thoughts are purely a product of your expectations.

    Try this instead: don’t go into the club with any “grand plans” inside your head of what you’re going to do that night.

    Don’t go in with any thinking-based strategies in your head AT ALL.

    Instead, focus on what you FEEL in your BODY.

    Aim to feel a pure happy, joyous state- for no reason at all. Just because you’re alive. Or just because you get fun and joy out of watching others around you, the people you don’t even know, having fun and joy.

    Smile with your mouth. Force yourself even.

    And do that for 30 minutes. Can you go to a club and stand there, like a complete dork, smiling and feeling joyous for 30 minutes? Maybe getting onto the dance floor and dancing like a crazy person… for just YOURSELF and for your own enjoyment?

    Then, even without all of your plans and expectations, even walking up to a beautiful woman will not frighten you.

    And only then, only once you come home from the club feeling rejuvenated and your batteries recharged from feeling such a great state all night, do you want to maybe consider any “planning” or “strategies”.

    I want to talk a little bit about internal state today, specifically what you do when you’re out of state.

    When you’re at a club, internal state is everything. How you feel will completely determine what kind of reactions from women you’re getting.

    Most people are walking through life with their internal state a 4, 5, or 6 out of 10 – pretty neutral at best.

    In the club however, you want to be feeling like a 10 – happy, smiling, ecstatic, euphoric, and a little sexual and cocky.

    Because if you’re feeling great inside, it’s like a magical healing power that touches everyone around you and women can just feel it, and no matter how you open them they’ll open right up to you.

    Sometimes you walk into a club though and you’re just not feeling too hot. You’re feeling anxious, unsure, or just out of place.

    15 minutes pass and you haven’t talked to anyone and suddenly you feel even worse, like you know you should be doing something, but you’re just standing there. You start to think to yourself, “Fuck!”

    But if you’re feeling blah inside, don’t try to fight the bad feelings.

    When you try to fight off negative feelings, you remain with them. If you’re fighting with them, you’re still clinging to them.

    Instead, let that crappy state be there. Just accept it. “Yes I’m feeling blah, I just accept it!” That is the first step to letting it go and letting it pass.

    If you just relax and allow yourself to simply be there without any goals or objectives, the negative feelings will slip away with a little time.

    The negative feelings will flicker in your mind, try to attract you, try to make you resist them; but you don’t allow them any of your mind.

    Instead, accept them.

    Let go of trying to “change” your feelings.

    Let go of “getting into state”.

    Just be okay and present with the moment. Don’t try to wish anything were different or hold any goals or objectives. Let all of the goals and objectives go, let them go completely.

    With a little time, once you feel relaxed, you’ll begin to feel a little happiness for no reason at all.

    Can you begin to smile, for no reason at all? It may feel strange and unusual at first. Hell, you may look like a smiling goof, smiling at no one and nothing in particular, but can you smile for yourself, not to try to impress anyone, but so that you feel nice inside for YOURSELF?

    Can you look into the sets of girls – the sets you were planning to approach but didn’t – and just feel HAPPY and JOY for them instead of feeling jealous or wanting to be in their sets?

    Can you feel joy that at least the girls and other guys there are smiling and laughing and having fun, that someone in this poor world is smiling and laughing, and having fun?

    My challenge to you is this: when you are “out of state”, stand there and have total acceptance of it. Don’t try to overcome the feelings, fight them, or get worked up about them. Just accept them.

    Let go of your goals and objectives for the night. Forget about them. Let them go.

    Then you’ll relax. Then you’ll start to have good feelings again. Think nice thoughts, feel deep joy for the others in the club, and put a big smile on your face at their happiness.

    Feel good for no reason; feel good for the happiness of others. Meditate your feeling of joy from a 5, to a 6, to a 7, to an 8 or 9 or even a 10!

    Feeling the right feelings, and letting go of objectives is the first step to becoming a Natural.

    Even if you leave the club not having approached girls, you were at least smiling and in state. You were making others feel awesome and giving others value and positivity just with your energy.

    And when you’re starting out, that’s how you measure success.

Click the video to watch the dance REMIX

    Look around you- you are literally drowning in a sea of “seduction” products.

    Cars, clothes, magazines, phones, shampoo- these are all marketed as quick-fix seduction products.

    We live in a capitalist economy.

    Every capitalist wants to sell as many cars, shoes, anti-perspirant, booze, phones, games, or whatever it’s they’re selling as they can.  It’s their job to sell as much as possible to maximize their profits.

    How do they do it?

    “Buy this phone and you’ll look cool (and get laid).”

    “Buy this luxury car and you’ll be worthy of women (and get laid).”

    “Buy these shoes to feel good about yourself (and get laid).”

    “Buy this ab-cruncher and you’ll look hot enough for women (and get laid).”

    Most guys believe in these quick-fix solutions, at least on an unconscious level.

    Being bombarded with these messages since birth, they’re walking around with gaping holes in their self-confidence and self-worth, thinking that they need to “succeed” in the material world, to run the capitalist rat race to be worthy of women.

    So most guys are running around like chickens with their heads cut off to get that next raise from the company boss or get higher grades in school.

    Many guys even KNOW about the dating and seduction techniques out there, but purposely put off going out to meet women to “focus on their career”.

    What they’re really doing is spending the best years of their life in front of a desk or in front of a machine, their skins turning to the color of the wallpaper.

    In the long run, it’s the women in your life that will bring you the most fulfillment and happiness, not the paper bills in your pocket.

    And the fact is no matter how much money you accumulate, that little hottie will STILL have more value than you and you’ll STILL have approach anxiety.  You STILL won’t have the guts to approach and nothing will have changed.

    That’s because the little bit of confidence of a hot car can’t replace the gaping hole in your core self-confidence.  You think it will, but the thrill of having the new car wears off quickly and you’ll find it does literally NOTHING to help your game.

    And really, you can’t bring your car or all of your money into a club- the club or bar is a great equalizer.  Nobody can see your money.  No matter how much cash you’ve got, the more sociable, freer guy is going to run circles around you.

    And for first time in history, women no longer need a provider to support them.  Women are simply not looking for providers like they did 50 years ago. Women can make their own money.  And most women have their own jobs and career paths.

    Even if you DO drive up to the club in a $30,000 Mercedes, women are increasingly unimpressed.  Especially to the hottest women, it looks increasingly “try-hard”.

I don’t need the cheese or the car keys
Boy I like you just the way you are

    Women are rather looking for a man that shows unwavering persistence to go for what he wants, sweeps them off their feet, is confident with exactly who he is, and a man who is happy and expressive no matter what situation he’s in.

    Look at the guys dancing in the video.  They’ll be FAR more attractive than some rich guy who spends all his time working and is nursing a beer in the corner.

    That kind of man is far rarer and more exciting than a man who simply works all day and doesn’t even show up for the party.

    How does a natural pickup look like?

I ain’t got no Visa
I ain’t got no Red American Express
We can’t go nowhere exotic
It don’t matter ‘cause I’m the one that loves you best
Talk to me girl

    This song speaks a truth.

    Give me your thoughts… Click here to leave me a comment

Here’s the Blissnosis 2nd Edition starter book, free for you to download!

Download instructions: Right click on the link below and select “Save Target As…” or “Save Link As…” to save the book to your computer’s disk drive.

Blissnosis 2.0 download link

Your friend,

Derek Vitalio

    In this video above I talk about how to make your bedroom a pleasure palace, so that when a woman steps inside sex is just a “given assumption”.